A blog is born!

As of late, I have been self analyzing. Psychology was my major in college…but then, for financial reasons, I dropped out. It has occurred to me that analyzing anyone with a partial education in psychology could be potentially detrimental to a persons mental health…even though I got really good grades. The combination of good grades and drop out means I am overconfident and undereducated. I will probably end up going on some sort of fugue by the time I’m thirty as a result of a botched self hypnosis or an unreasonable amount of mental strain caused by trying to figure out the eternal question…what is really in a hot dog?

At the age of 26, I have found that in my heart of hearts…I don’t want to be an adult.  Unfortunately, I have bills.  Lots and lots of bills.  I like my laptop and t.v…so I have to pay my electric bill.  My friends like it when I don’t stink, so I have to pay my water bill so I can continue with this whole shower thing.  The Men in Black will hunt me down and steal my first born if I don’t pay back my education loan.  I like going places, so I guess I should probably pay the car note and insurance as well.  We’ve been getting a lot of rain in Ohio lately, so I guess if I want to stay dry I should probably pay the rent. However, I detest alarm clocks, especially the loud annoying ones that wake you up at 7 in the morning.  I hate traffic.  I don’t like TPS reports. Corporate life sucks. I am afraid of potlucks, because I know odds are, someone in my department owns a hundred cats, and they all like sitting on the counter when food is being prepared.  So you can see my conundrum.  I need to be able to pay my bills, but I don’t want to get up at 7 am, drive in traffic, do my TPS reports and die from some sort of disease harbored by felines because Clarence let his cats sit on the counter while he made his World Famous Chili. 

I would much rather spend my time playing with play dough, searching for my name in Google, watching cute videos of Sontard dancing and puppies and kitties on YouTube, celebrating backwards day by wearing my underwear on the outside of my jeans, and drinking Mountain Dew.  I really don’t think that’s too much to ask.

As it so happens, I like to write.  Sometimes, when you combine a blog and writing, you get subscribers, and when you get subscribers, sometimes you get money.  Here is where you, dear Reader, come into the picture. I need you to subscribe to my blog.  I need you to tell your friends and family about my plight and my desire to be a responsible bum and I need them to visit my blog and subscribe so I don’t have to die from Clarence’s botulism Chili.  I am hereby recruiting you to spread the word.  Pass out fliers, make buttons promoting my site, talk about my blog loudly and enthusiastically in the elevator at the mall, tell people I am the Grand Pooh-Bah of the meanest Big Wheel gang in America! I’m pretty sure there aren’t any Big Wheel gangs in America so technically if I were to buy a Big Wheel and snarl a little bit, it wouldn’t be a lie J